An Italian Jewish Custom Kindles Hope on Tisha B'Av

So far, so good. It's the first quiet day we in Israel have had for weeks, and ironically it's Tisha B'Av -- the day that defines Jewish sorrow. After all that Israelis have been through over the past 4 weeks, I wonder if there is any cause for optimism, especially since it's Tisha B'av -- prime time for collective mourning.

I mentally conduct a quick historical survey. Tisha B'Av made its entry onto the Jewish calendar with the destruction of both Holy Temples 500 years apart. The irony of Jewish history stepped in with other catastrophes occurring on this date -- the first Crusade began on Tisha B'Av, killing 10,000 Jews in the first month; the Expulsions of Jews from England and France began on Tisha B'Av (1290 and 1306), as did the Spanish Expulsion; and let's not forget the Holocaust, with "The Final Solution" gaining final approval on Tisha B'Av 1941.

So, optimism? It's too early not to be jumpy over anything that sounds like a siren. I still surf the Israeli press every 15 minutes for news updates and can easily remain glued to the TV screen, listening to endless analysis. And then I remember an Italian Jewish custom that I discovered six years ago while researching my book Hanukkah Around the World.

Italian Jews connect Tisha B'Av with Hanukkah through a candle.

The same candle that provides them with enough light to read Eicha -- the Book of Lamentations -- on the eve of Tisha B'Av, is the candle they use as the Shamash for their Hannukiah. Once they finish reading Eicha they blow the candle out, wrap it up and put it away for safekeeping. Come Hanuukah they unwrap it and put it to work once again. By doing this they close the circle, for on Hanukkah we celebrate the rededication of the Temple.

So optimism on Tisha B'Av? Let's rekindle a much needed dose during these tumultuous times.

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Iranian Jews Know How to Make Strangers Feel at Home

It's that time of the year when we read about Abraham, the 3 angels and how Hachnasat Orchim -- welcoming guests into our midst -- became an integral part of the Jewish way of life. But are we practicing what we preach?

While none of us go to the pains that Abraham did by washing our visitors' feet, there are Jewish communities around the world who have their own special touch in making guests and strangers feel at home. This past January I brought up a unique custom practiced by Turkish Jews. After seeing a recent CNN Fareed Zakaria GPS piece on Iran, I decided to find out if there is a specific custom practiced by Iranian Jews. Sure enough, there is and it revolves around a tea ceremony.

Iranians use a samovar to heat and boil water, with the tea essence brewing on top. The water is carefully poured into small glasses. If foam appears in the water, it is not served. It must be crystal clear -- a sign of respect for the guest. Rose water -- which has a distinctive flavor and is an important ingredient in Iranian cuisine -- is provided in a separate glass for those who want to add it to their tea. Cookies are served as well. Sugar cubes are placed in a small glass server and handed around, with everyone taking a cube and placing it in their mouth. The tea is now ready to be drunk. All of this is done as soon as a guest enters the house. It's the Iranian way of showing guests they are wanted and respected.

This charming custom should get you thinking. Are you doing enough to welcome new members into your community.  Are you teaching your children the importance of this value? What about new students in a class? Are you making them feel wanted and part of the group? Have you dedicated a specific time and day for a welcome party? Think about how you can create your own Hachnasat Orchim custom that's your cup of tea.


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Jews in Turkey Welcome Guests with a Teaspoon of Apple Jam

We all know that Hachnasat Orchim – welcoming of guests into one’s home – is an important Jewish value dating back to Abraham. The question is how does one go about doing it? Certainly we are not going to wash our guests’ feet as Abraham did. Most of us feel that a gracious verbal welcome suffices. Not so for Turkish Jews. They go out of their way to make guests feel at home by turning their Rosh Hashana custom of eating home-made apple jam into a year-round Hachnasat Orchim practice. When a guest enters their house s/he is first treated to a teaspoon of apple jam and a glass of water. It’s their way of wishing sweetness and happiness to every visitor.

Why do I bring this up? To begin with, it is wonderful to see how one Jewish community reveres our values as much as our holidays. In addition, I believe that Hachnasat Orchim is a value so important that it should be engraved in the psyche of every Jew. When we made Aliyah in 1977 I was overwhelmed by the number of invitations we received. It didn’t take long for us to understand how essential it was to adapt this practice into our own lifestyle. Seven years later, we went to the States on our first Sabbatical. This time I was underwhelmed by the lack of invitations. Over the decades many of our friends and colleagues experienced the same treatment during their sabbatical years. When we were able to muster up enough courage to ask “why”, we couldn’t believe the answer: “It’s not worth our energy to invest in people who won’t be here after a year.” It was not until our last Sabbatical in Providence that we finally came upon a Jewish community that truly understood the meaning of Hachnasat Orchim. By then my expectations were less than low. Thirty-two years after making aliyah, I was once again happily overwhelmed.

Obviously, every community is different, as is every era. Nonetheless, Hachnasat Orchim is a timeless value that should be handed down by parents, as well as taught in the classroom. Turkish Jews have it right. It is so important, it is worthy of a custom.

Wonderful Italian Custom Connecting Tisha B’Av with Hanukkah

How can we take a traumatic event and give it a hopeful spin? Ask Italian Jews and they’ll give you the answer. Next week when you read Eicha – Lamentations – on Tisha B’Av in your synagogue by candlelight, don’t throw out the candle when you’ve finished the reading and blown it out. Take it home, wrap it up and store it in a safe place. Come Hanukkah, remove the candle from its wrapping and use it as the Shamash candle for lighting your Hanukkiah candles. What’s the logic behind this custom? On Tisha B’Av we mourn the destruction of the Holy Temple, but on Hanukkah we celebrate its rededication. Italian Jews use the candle to close the circle and to end Tisha B’Av on an optimistic note. Learning from history never hurts and in these tumultuous times an upbeat message is exactly what we need.
Have an easy fast…Tami